ya dads aren't the best wingmen
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
