I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
