i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i drank out of a bidet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
