I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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