bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm like, not good at living.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
