fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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