What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Pooping to opera.
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