We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
