omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
