i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
