I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
