tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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