his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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