Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
