whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
