Dual....:-)
You're so nebulous sometimes
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
