we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize