I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
