all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
