Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so let's talk penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
