so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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