he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.