He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex