Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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