Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.

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  (215): Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend. http://tfl.nu/kqgl
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (1053)
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  (914): View more from New York

  dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.

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  (914): dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk. http://tfl.nu/x11o
  Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (2019)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.

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  (206): I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right. http://tfl.nu/kss9
  Replies (16) Good night (5792) Bad night (934)
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  (760): View more from California

  Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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  (760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd
  Replies (24) Good night (1278) Bad night (4191)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction

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  (505): i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction http://tfl.nu/hb6q
  Replies (10) Good night (914) Bad night (4447)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.

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  (202): You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first. http://tfl.nu/24o7
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (1561)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty

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  (732): I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty http://tfl.nu/54ho
  Replies (11) Good night (792) Bad night (1401)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
  Replies (7) Good night (2687) Bad night (834)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..

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  (708): just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car.. http://tfl.nu/c49r
  Replies (12) Good night (1976) Bad night (1226)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off

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  (914): Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off http://tfl.nu/fxgn
  Replies (8) Good night (1278) Bad night (548)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.

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  (201): Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/7gqm
  Replies (18) Good night (1263) Bad night (543)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.

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  (303): Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way. http://tfl.nu/uitb
  Replies (7) Good night (533) Bad night (849)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev

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  (270): Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev http://tfl.nu/bqo9
  Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (312)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?

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  (519): What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ? http://tfl.nu/ckpy
  Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (431)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall

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  (330): you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall http://tfl.nu/5i52
  Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (271)

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