does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.