when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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