apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something