its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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