I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
its liver damage thursday
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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