I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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