is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
