fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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