Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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