id be glad to
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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