i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
is it fun? or sober?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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