Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
