I'm jealous of your bromance
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
