I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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