Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
