I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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