At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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