The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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