I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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