Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
