He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
