I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
