Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
