Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?

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(224): View more from Illinois

Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays

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(828): View more from North Carolina

you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.

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(917): View more from New York City

Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days

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(303): View more from Colorado

Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit

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(630): View more from Illinois

He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...

(773): View more from Illinois

Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent

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