i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
