The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
