you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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