Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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