i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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