I'm lost and stupid without you.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
