You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
