he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
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thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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