She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
