I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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