I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
