just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
