True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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