we have officially lost it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
