I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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