Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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