This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
