Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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