we're blogging at a bar
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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